Joey ([info]joey_fatone) wrote,
@ 2003-05-25 23:49:00
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Well. This trip has just been one fun ride after another.

Not.

I left a message with Justin letting him know I wouldn't be crashing at his place after all. It's just easier to be by myself and really, I should have just known that right off the bat. I mean. Doing it now for months and generally handling it okay.

If okay is sidling up to the hotel bar and nursing a glass of Jack.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 09:27 pm UTC (link)
*heads to the hotel bar after checking into my room*

*sees Joey at the bar, raises eyebrows*

*walks up and sits next to him, motioning for the bartender*

Nice of you to say goodbye this morning, Joe.

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 09:31 pm UTC (link)
*passes over his whiskey*

You come all this way just to tell me that?

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 09:33 pm UTC (link)
*takes the shot*

Nope. Just an added bonus.

So what brings you here?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 09:37 pm UTC (link)
Aside from the stellar ambiance and overpriced JD?

*blanches*

Little space. J's got a nice place, but Chris and Ron, and Justin's never home. I'm sorta used to being on my own now.

Wait. What're you doing here? It's a little late and you should be all nestled up with your man.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 09:42 pm UTC (link)
Man, I'd have thought you could get lost in J's place. But that doesn't explain the JD.

*sighs*

I guess we had a fight. Kind of.

*looks in the empty glass*

I told him what happened.

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 09:44 pm UTC (link)
A fight.

*looks over at Lance*

Now why did you do that? Christ, it was nothing. It was just. It didn't even. It didn't even need to be mentioned.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 09:46 pm UTC (link)
It was nothing?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 09:49 pm UTC (link)
Don't be stupid, Lance. You.

*clenches fists beneath the bar*

You love JC. It doesn't have to be so complicated.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 09:53 pm UTC (link)
*rolls eyes*

Of course it's complicated, Joe, it's me. What do you expect?

I know why I'm drowning my sorrows, why are you?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 09:57 pm UTC (link)
Just one. Taking the edge off. Would like to actually get some sleep tonight.

*bartender brings another glass and the bottle*

Why. Why don't you just go home and be happy? I mean. I don't understand it. I think about it. I always fucking think about it and.

It's never nothing. And you should really be home.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:03 pm UTC (link)
You should stop being so selfless, Joe.

*pours a shot*

I left on my own. He didn't make me or anything.

What if it wasn't nothing? What if it was something? It's always something, you said so yourself. Why should you always be the one giving things up?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:07 pm UTC (link)
I like to think of it as quitting while I'm ahead. Even when I know I'm not that far ahead. At least at this point, wooo...

*looks down at myself*

Yep, there. A little spot of dignity still left.

*looks back at Lance*

A lot of stuff would get royally fucked up if I went for what I wanted. I'm not ready for that.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:11 pm UTC (link)
So. What do you want, Joe?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:16 pm UTC (link)
You really are a bitch, Lance. And seriously, it's one of the things I love about you. But right about now, it's not making things any better.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:18 pm UTC (link)
Fair enough.

So what's going to make it better?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:20 pm UTC (link)
A lobotomy?

*smiles then*

Time. Perspective. Maybe seeing how things should be rather than how they are.

Think if I packed myself in one of Justin's trunks for his tour, anyone'd notice?

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:23 pm UTC (link)
It's hard to see past what things are to see what they should be. It's usually just easier to keep things how they are and then that solves nothing.

*smiles*

Not making much sense now, am I?

And I'd notice. Not so sure Justin would rather have you than his sneakers, though.

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:25 pm UTC (link)
Thanks. Dumped off for a pair of Jordans.

Or a couple hundred.

And strangely, that makes a lot of sense. I'm just not sure we have what it takes to stop taking the easy road.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:28 pm UTC (link)
*sighs*

Well, if this is the easy road, I'm thinking I should just take the hard one, can't get much worse.

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:31 pm UTC (link)
You're courtin' trouble there, Mr. Bass.

It can always get worse. But then.

*completely disinterested in the whiskey*

It gets worse before it gets better.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:34 pm UTC (link)
*looks sideways at Joey*

So you're saying I should make it worse, then?

You want me to make it worse?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:36 pm UTC (link)
No, I. I want to you to decide one way or another. What you're going to work for. See. I know what you're capable of. I know you will work and have anything you want. You just need to get it straight in here...

*taps a soft fingertip to Lance's temple*

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:38 pm UTC (link)
*catches Joey's hand*

So what if I don't know what I want right now? Got any advice on how to figure that out, oh wise one?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:40 pm UTC (link)
*swallows, but hold Lance's gaze*

Be honest about it. Own up to not knowing and why you don't know. Explore your options. Make a decision.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:44 pm UTC (link)
So I admit it. I have no fucking clue right now. All I know is that somewhere along the line someone is going to get hurt and it's going to be all my fault. And I hate that.

*gives him a slight smile*

Explore my options, huh?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:47 pm UTC (link)
Shit happens. Then sometimes you step in it.

How can you know if you don't? Cover all your angles, I mean.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 10:53 pm UTC (link)
Ok, then. Here it is.

I don't know why I did it, but it happened. And I don't know what's going to happen, but if part of what I have to do is explore my options, well I guess I'd start right here. Cause the way I see it, that's my option. You. Or JC.

I love him, you know that. But I kissed you last night and I liked it, so that has to mean something, too, right?

I don't know how any of this is going to end up, but I need to know what you're thinking now, Joe. Because your choice here can make all the difference.

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 10:57 pm UTC (link)
Of course you liked it. There's always been something, there always will be. I'm also.

I'm safe, Lance. I would give you anything. I'd cut off my own arm before seeing you hurt.

You have nothing to lose with me. One way or another.

As for it being a choice... there is no choice. But I'm not sure you're prepared to see where it could really go.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 11:00 pm UTC (link)
Why would you say that? I'm here, right?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 11:02 pm UTC (link)
*mumbles*

Shit.

*stands and drops a few bills on the bar*

Let's go. This is getting a little too much for me to do right here.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 11:04 pm UTC (link)
*follows him out of the bar*

Where are we going?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 11:05 pm UTC (link)
*guides him to the elevators*

You're here right? Here's one of your options.

*gets them inside*

Explore it.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 11:10 pm UTC (link)
Ok.

*pushes Joey against the wall of the elevator*

Let's explore it.

*pulls him close and kisses him*

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 11:12 pm UTC (link)
*fingers curl into Lance's shirt where it hangs off his hips. There's no surprise this time, and the kiss is deepened, and taken further, away from Lance's mouth and down the smooth curve of his throat*

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 11:18 pm UTC (link)
*groans and tilts head back, allowing Joey to move along my throat, hands come up and curl in his hair, rubbing gently*

*pulls his lips back to mine, deepining the kiss, my hands moving down his back*

*the elevator dings and pulls away reluctantly, breathing heavy*

*backs away as the doors open at our floor*

This is us.

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 11:21 pm UTC (link)
Yep.

*nudges Lance out of the elevator with a soft hand to Lance's elbow. The elevator closes*

Tell you what. We should sleep on this. If it's still a viable option in the morning, we'll work on it then.

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[info]j_lance_b
2003-05-25 11:23 pm UTC (link)
Sounds good to me.

*stops in front of my door*

This is me.

So. Breakfast tomorrow? *realizes the time* Or how about lunch?

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[info]joey_fatone
2003-05-25 11:24 pm UTC (link)
I'll be here.

*smiles*

G'night, Lance.

*heads to his own room*

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